Junkyard Of Failed Vision

When I was 16 I went on a mission trip to Peru with Teen Missions International.  It was an experience that changed me in a big way.  Two years later, T.M.I. announced that they were starting up a Bible School on their campus in Merritt Island, Fla.  Without hesitation, I signed up and moved there in the fall.  In addition to the education, (most of which was excellent thanks to one of my personal heroes in life, former Village Missions Pastor: Howard Vanderpool), I learned a whole lot through the people who worked with and around that particular ministry.  One of the lessons I’ve learned about “vision” stems back to a secluded piece of property back in the swamps of T.M.I.’s property.

The director of that ministry is a man who oozes vision.  He has ideas coming out of his ears.  Some of them are incredible.  But, some of them just don’t quite work out.  Sometimes, the vision is tested and found to be unprofitable.  Sometimes, the vision is bold and exciting, until the insurance vultures swept in and picked it apart.  As a result of all these ideas that “didn’t make it”, physical structures where forced to be torn down and removed.  They were then carted off to the “junk pile” in a secluded section of the property.

The cynic might look on at that heap and say, “Boy, this guy sure had a lot of bad ideas.”  When I was there, I don’t know what I thought of it.  I was just an immature kid.  But here I am years later, and I often think back to that pile of junk.  That pile wasn’t a sign of failure.  No way.  That pile was a side effect of big vision.  He was the kind of man whose eyes were always scanning the horizon for: the next opportunity, the next open door, the next plan…  Along the way, some things didn’t work out.  He had the boldness to let that junkyard of failed vision grow.  He had the confidence to keep on dreaming.  He had the spiritual sensitivity to receive many ideas that did work in incredibly big ways.

I’ve been pastoring now for about 8 years.  Our church has sprouted 5 other fellowships locally.  We’ve been involved in many different kinds of ministry including; radio, crusades, concerts, servant evangelism, street ministry, overseas missions work…  and so much more.  Some of these things are fruitful.  Some of these things are a huge investment of: time, labor and resource resulting in zero visible fruit.  Are we failures because we’ve done things that have failed?  No way.   We do however, have our own junkyard of failed vision.  You won’t find any physical junk to rummage through, but you will find a history of events that were better left undone.

Mistakes?  Blunders?  Bad Choices?   …maybe.   I prefer to see them as the side effects to vision.  I’m glad that junkyard is there.  It reminds me, that I’ve always been willing to think and do something that might not always fit in the box.

Today, my eyes search the horizons.  Sometimes I say it’s a matter of willingness.  Sometimes I call it a curse.  I wish I could relax and be content to settle into the model and simply do what others are doing.  I try to…  but then, my mind wanders.  My mind sees the shortfalls and then dreams of a solution.  My mind strips away the tradition and tries to think of things as they were.. possibly.. in their purest form.  My mind is always reaching outside of the box… trying to find something that might be more “right”  or more “effective”.

I’m not interested in being different for the sake of being different.  That mentality, in itself usually drives us to be just like someone else who is trying to be different, and thus, there we are being same in our attempts to be different.  I learned this in my teens when I tried to be different by looking like a punk-rocker.  Then I realized… hey, I look like all the other punk rockers.

Even though it stresses me out, I’m still going to let my mind search and think outside of the box.  In the meantime, I’m going to strive for contentment in the things that I know won’t change.